007. begging for love in all the wrong places
rambling 007. but trying not to
days ago, i found myself begging for love again. no, i didn’t have my knees on the ground, and for most of it, i wasn’t crying, but i was begging. begging often involves desperation, and that’s what it was—horribly desperate. i knew nothing would come of it, but i indulged myself anyway. i had the conversation, i revisited the feelings, and even though i knew the outcome would be the same, i was disappointed.
i still mull over the dull ache that accompanies the situation, and mull over the instances in which love was not given to me when it should’ve been. how could they say that? how could they ignore that? i thought to myself. but the answers to those questions don’t matter, because i knew they would say that, and i knew they would ignore that. this “how could they?” does not matter. those questions are just created so that i can lament about a situation that remains stagnant. a situation where once again, i’m 15 and begging for love in all the wrong places. maybe one day i’ll stop.
Been there! You will get through it and come out on the other side. I think many of us are drawn to those tragic situations, especially when we’re young. Stay strong and listen to sad music!